By Lindsay Stewart Glor
As a parent it’s difficult to decide at what age is it best to leave your children alone, be it for 10 minutes while you run to the store, an hour after school, or four hours on a Saturday night. While many factors, like the child’s maturity level and legal parameters, come into play, it is nevertheless a difficult, and ultimately personal decision.
Legal Obligations
In Ontario, the legislation regulating when children can be left alone falls under The Child and Family Services Act. It basically says that if you leave a child under 16 alone, you must make provisions for their supervision and care in your absence. If the child is under 10, and the authorities question their supervision, you, as a parent, will need to convince them that you had made reasonable efforts for their supervision.
What constitutes “supervision” is vague, and it is up to you to decide what is appropriate for your child. Will off-site supervision, in the form of a check-in phone call suffice, or does your child need to have someone with them all of the time when at home? If you decide that your child is ready to be at home alone, you must first figure out when and for how long.
Assessing Your Child
Every child will have a different reaction to being left alone. Some 12-year olds will be nervous and panicky, while some 10-year-olds will feel completely comfortable. Begin by talking with your child about how they feel being home alone. How long would they feel comfortable being alone? Would they be okay in the evening or would they not want to go to bed alone? Would they be able to care for their younger siblings while you are away?
Planning and Preparing
If you do think your child is ready to be at home alone, it might be wise to start out easy, with an hour or two on their own in the late afternoon or early evening, rather than having them stay home Saturday night by themselves. You can always give them a call to check in, or have a grandparent or close friend call to see how they are doing.
Before you leave your children for even 15 minutes, there are some things to discuss with them.
1. What do they say if someone calls?
2. What if someone rings the doorbell?
3. If they have a question, who should they call?
4. If there is an emergency, what should they do?
You can also go over their plan for the time that you will be away. If your child is going to stay at home from 7 pm-10 pm, discuss what movie they will watch, what books they could read, what they could eat as a snack and when they should get ready for bed. This will help structure your time away and give them a plan they can follow.
At Home Checklist
When you hire a babysitter to come to your house, you most likely leave a list of emergency and cellphone numbers. Even though your child may know how to dial 911 and have your cellphone number memorized, it is important to leave them a detailed list as well. This will give them a sense of security, and also help them deal with a stressful situation if it arises. Your home alone checklist could include:
1. Important numbers, including your cellphone, 911, grandparents or close relatives, and a trusted friend or neighbour who lives nearby. It is also helpful to leave your own name, address and phone number written out, as a flustered child may have difficulty remembering these details in an emergency.
2. Where you are going and when you will be back. Leave the name, address and phone number of where you are going—be it your office, your friend’s house, or even the movie theatre—as well as the time you will return. It is important that you get home on time so your child does not panic.
3. Information about your child. If there was an emergency, information about your child might be needed. Make sure you outline any allergies or pertinent medical information, as well as the name and number of your family doctor.
4. Key household information,
like where emergency supplies like flashlights are located, where they can find house keys, how the home alarm system works, and how the appliances work.
5. The family safety plan. Go over your family’s first aid and fire safety plan. Your child should know where the first aid kit is, where a working fire extinguisher is, and what to do in case of a fire in the house.
6. Information about pets. Does the family pet need to be alked or fed? Who do they call if the pet is sick (leave a number for the closest emergency veterinarian). How do they clean up after the pet?
7. Rules for siblings. If you are leaving an older child in charge, make sure you go over with them what their siblings can and can’t do. Can they play outside? Can they go to a friend’s house? Can they use the computer? Can they have a snack? When do they all go to bed?
(Sources: todaysparent.com, cfc-efc.ca, casmt.on.ca)
Excerpted from Safety Mosaic, Volume 10, No. 1, Spring 2007
That you should not use your hands to compress garbage in a bag - use a stick.
